Just A Few Notes for the Fifth Element-themed restaurant of my dreams / by Samuel B. Prime

leeloo
  • I mean, it has to be called Fhloston Paradise, right?
  • Rudy Rhod Grapefruit as a breakfast / brunch item
  • Chicken! Good! would be one of the signature items
  • Employees must autowash before returning to work
  • Lick 'Em Lollies would be for sale individually or in bulk
  • Aziz! Light! would be the health conscious sub-heading
  • Vino Cornelius would be the fancy wine list sub-heading
  • Super Greens would be the vegan / vegetarian sub-heading
  • Supreme Bean would be the coffee / cappuccino sub-heading
  • Meat Popsicles would be the name for a kabob-style appetizer
  • Garlic Aknots would be the name of yet another menu appetizer
  • "Bzzz!" would mean "check please" from customer to employee
  • Gift Cards would be in the form of tickets to Fhloston Paradise
  • Menu dinner specials would include a bowl of Mondoshawonton soup
  • The "Diva Plavalaguna" would be a specialty dessert blueberry cocktail
  • Customer Loyalty Program and accompanying card would be called Multipass
  • Employees would prompt for refills with a robotic "Do you want some more?"
  • Manager / Employee Parking spots would have signs that read "KEEP CLEAR"
  • At checkout, the employee at the register would be required to say "Gimme da cash!"
  • Paint It Red would be an option for pancakes, waffles, and desserts (add strawberries)
  • CD-Rom copies of Encyclopedia Britannica available with purchase (to learn about WAR)
  • Complimentary Gemini Croquettes on every table (like chips + salsa in a Mexican restaurant)
  • "I want all positions!" would be equivalent to In-N-Out "Animal Style" (with everything / sloppy)
  • Size upgrades for drinks, meals, etc. would be as follows: Boom; Bada Boom; Big Bada Boom
  • Electronic candles / candle holders on each table would be shaped like one of the four stones
  • Sign at the entrance dictating establishment's seating policy would simply read "ECTO GAMMAT"
  • Mangalore Galore would be a dessert of one large brownie, surrounded by other small brownies
  • The Dark Planet would be a dessert of a deep-fried fudge ball containing a rich, thick red fruit filling
  • Any drink on the menu could, upon request, "be Zorged" (a single maraschino cherry would be added)
  • If a customer wants a doggy bag, they must tell their waiter / waitress "Some things are worth saving."

- Samuel B. Prime

Founder, LA Ciné Salon

***Special thanks to Brendan Lucas, who shared enthusiasm, and spitballed ideas for, this outrageous dream.***